Ok, so it's Lent again (already) and I can't believe it. So besides giving up the usual soda and french fry combination (which is much harder than it looks) I am going to try and write a little bit creatively every day. I will of course be posting these on my other blog with a one day lag. I write best at night so that is probably when I will be writing. I doubt it will be anything amazing, since I am also working on my first novel, but I just thought I would see what came out of writing other stuff too. And who knows...you might get little bits of my novel too!
*Miss Desi*
Mood: Energetic Listening to: "First Time" Lifehouse
What is it about digging in and refusing to loosen up your grip that is so human? Does it mean that everyone is a control freak to some degree? Or is it just me--it's probably just me.
I keep telling myself that I should let go of my worries and let God take care of me, but I just can't seem to do it. It's like I think I can take on the world with a paper sword and shield--and I know in my heart that I can't do it by myself, but I have to try and fail before I ask him for help.
I'm like that in my writing too. I just can't follow everyone's advice or critiques. I have to write myself into a corner before, utterly defeated, I ask for help. Of course this help usually requires that I do some major revisions. Do I learn--hello no. I'm too stubborn for that.
Hopefully someday I'll grow out of it--or at least grow enough in my faith to know when I'm in good hands.
You would think as a writer I would be better at this whole blogging thing, but I can hardly manage to write more than once a week, let alone keep a journal. The only time I was ever successful with that was when I was in Italy...and even that was a struggle. I guess I'm just better at keeping my thoughts in my head. Ha ha.
I had a fabulous semester, so I really can't complain. I managed to kick some butt in all of my classes and earned my highest GPA to date...which means for once in my college career I got all A's. *Pats herself on the back* Me? Vain? Never! Ha ha. I'm really not a vain person...but I am really proud of myself.
I also hit the halfway--well, almost halfway point of my novel. And I am proud of that too...I can't wait to write the last sentence on that last page. I think that will be the greatest feeling ever. I'll let ya know.
I can't believe that it is New Year's Eve already. This year went by way too fast and I'm still trying to figure out what comes next for me. I'm going to try to get into a Transition to Teaching program and if not I think I'm going to work as a sub for a year before I try again. I've thought about counseling too. I think I would be good at it too. I just don't know. I'm in totally new territory...again...and I'm coming into the worst job market ever...lucky me. But I'm sure God has a plan, as he always does, and it'll work out. I just have to worry a bunch until then.
So, as always I am going to make a few resolutions for the year. And as always I am going to assume that I probably won't follow through with them, but it's almost a new year so maybe that will change.
Resolution 1: Lose weight. Get my butt moving. It's time to get healthy. For me. I want to be healthier and happier.
Resolution 2: Finish my novel. That's right, I'm going to finish the darn thing if it kills me. I want to finish it so I can do the revisions and send it out into the world to (hopefully) get published. The whole published part will probably take more than just this next year, but it's something to work for.
Resolution 3: Meet my friend Garrett. He lives in CA, and we met randomly and talk a lot via messenger. He's a great friend and I think it'd be cool to actually meet in person.
So there you have it. And now it's out there for people to see so I have to do it. Maybe I should blog about it all. Ha ha. Yeah right. I'd never actually keep up with it...but hey, it's fun to talk about.
*Miss Desi*
Listening to: "Martyr's Song" Todd Agnew Mood: Hopeful
It's been a long time since I posted anything here. But this summer has been more than a little busy. My mom is now officially engaged to my "Almost" Dad. I got him a card for Father's Day. It's the first Father's Day card I have bought since before my dad was arrested. It was pretty cool.
I also finally found a second summer job. I am baby-sitting in the mornings for a little guy named Ben...well, I don't know that he's that little, he's six. But I still consider that little. But anyway, we go to the library for the summer reading program and do little craft projects. Last week we painted rocks! In the afternoons and on Saturdays I am working at a paint-your-own-pottery studio called Pottery Schmottery. I am still in training but I really enjoy it so far.
Let's see what else am I working on right now? Lots of school stuff in preparation for my senior year. I am a Writing Apprentice, Teaching Assistant and I am also working on my senior writing project, or should be...I haven't gotten much done yet but I am hoping to have a little more time once I get my schedule balanced. I am also trying to lose some weight, but that isn't easy...I am having trouble making time to exercise, but I will work it into my schedule!
Cody and I have been bickering back and forth a little more that is probably good as well, but I'm sure we will work it out. I get frustrated with him a lot because he still talks with the girl he dated before me. They were quite serious and before we ever dated he used to talk to me about marrying her. So naturally, now that we are together I would rather he not talk to her as much as he does. When we first started dating I told him I didn't want them talking and he tried to tell her that but it wasn't working so I got involved, of course it worked for a little while but only because I kept telling her to buzz off, then I got tired of all the drama and let it go, and now she's told him we should take a break and wants him to help her move. I don't really know how to tell him I don't want her around at all, especially since I've let it go on this long. I don't think it's fair that I should have to worry and feel uncomfortable but at the same time I did let it happen. I am a firm believer in not keeping up with ex's. I only have one and we don't talk at all. I just don't know quite what to do. Any suggestions?
*Miss Desi*
Listening to: "White Horse" Taylor Swift Mood: Concerned
It was an absolutely GORGEOUS day today! I hated that I had to be inside for the vast majority of it with classes and everything. But I did manage to take a 3.5 mile walk after my American Literature class. So I didn't have to do my workout tape inside. Which was nice. I mean I enjoy my tape, but I was getting sick of doing the same routine over and over, though I've only been doing it for about a week...I get bored a little too easily!
Writing is coming along nicely, I am feeling really good about it. I am looking forward to posting Oscar's take on the "date night" by Friday at the latest. Originally I thought this was going to be Kaia's story, but as I have been developing it I am beginning to see that it is really Oscar's story. It is more about how he copes with everything. Kaia just shows us the idol that she thinks he is and Oscar attempts to be for her. I hope that makes sense.
Anyway, I am stoked for Valentine's Day. My plans for Cody are coming together beautifully and I can't wait to see his face when I surprise him with what I got for him! I'll explain more later, but I know he sometimes gets on here and reads so I don't want him to know what I am doing...love you babe!
I had a good cry last night. It was wonderful. I had been holding it in for a while. And I am sure there will be plenty more tears to come as I begin to work through everything that is bottled up inside. I've also decided after talking with my mom that it might be a good idea to begin counseling again. Mostly for grief, but I am hoping it can help with some other things I am trying to deal with as well. Since when did life become so difficult to live?
I think that is really just the way it is. In any case, my cry gave me an excellent piece or two of inspiration for a couple of stories. I plan on updating my Writer's Block a little later in the week, if I get time to write, which I am really hoping for. I hate just storing things in my head...I tend to forget bits and pieces that could be really important or little scenes that really breathe life into the text. But we shall see what happens.
To me, this story idea is begging to be written, it wants to tear my heart out and the heart of those who read it. And I want to write it, I feel like I have to write it in order to hold on to something, in order keep the memory slices in tact, forever. I feel like this is the story I am supposed to write right now. And the other ones that want to be told seem fairly content with waiting in the wings for the time being.
*Miss Desi*
Listening to: "White Horse" Taylor Swift Mood: Chill
